Okay, so if any of you are in a Bible study or any type of women's thing at a church - you know about The Food. At every meeting, there's always food. And everyone has to take turns bringing food. And the food is always homemade and delicious. And everyone always says "Oh goodness, this food is sooo delicious, I simply must have the recipe." Except... for when it's my turn.
A couple of months ago it was my turn to bring The Food for my table at Bible study. Any by some weird coincidence, it was also my turn to work in the nursery that morning - double whammy. (That meant that I had to arrive at Bible study 15 minutes earlier. Which doesn't sound like a big deal, but when you're trying to get somewhere early in the morning with a toddler, 15 minutes is a huge deal.) It was a frantic week and I forgot about The Food until the night before. It was too late to make anything and my cupboards were bare. Great - that meant I had to leave even earlier to pick up something on my way.
I could have gone to the grocery store, but noooo - I committed the cardinal sin in bringing The Food... donuts. Yes, I brought donuts to Bible study. Shock! Gasp! It's not homemade! There's no recipe to share! Personally, I love a good donut. It's round, delicious yumminess. My favorite donut is the chocolate one with the colored sprinkles on top. Followed closely by the chocolate old-fashioned. But apparently, not everyone shares my love of this perfect breakfast food. Here's what happened...
I pull up to the donut store, scramble out of the car, gather my delightful daughter out of her car seat and rush into the store. Wait, wait, wait. Finally it's my turn and I get a dozen. (Side note - did donuts suddenly get way more expensive? Sheesh.) Grab some juice out of the display case and quickly pay. I pick up a toddler with one arm, balance the box of donuts on the other, hold the bag with the juice with one finger and carefully make my way to the car. Put Janie back in the car seat, find a place for the delicious donuts and then drive as fast as I can to the church. Then, repeat everything in reverse, balancing my precious possessions as I walk up three flights of stairs to get to the Bible study room. I find my table, drop off The Food and breathe a huge sigh of relief. I did it! I brought The Food! And I made it on time! I felt like a Bible study superstar.
After two hours in a room full of two-year-olds I returned to my table to say hi to some of the ladies. That's when I discovered it... an almost completely full box of donuts still sitting in the middle of the table. Only one donut was missing! Ten ladies at the table - only one ate a donut! The Food was a disaster. I felt like a disaster. I mean, I know that they weren't rejecting me when they rejected my donuts, but it sure felt like it.
So, next week it's my turn again and I'm totally feeling the pressure. There will definitely be no donuts. I've been thinking of making these muffins. They looked delicious when Giada made them on TV, but it would be a risky move since I've never made them before. I could also bring some fruit with this yummy dip. It would probably be a winner, but I'm feeling the need to bring something really amazing to make up for the Donut Disaster of '06.
I'm putting too much thought into this, I know. The whole point of Bible study is not to impress each other or show off our mad cooking skills. I don't have to feel insecure about myself as a woman, a wife, or a mother just because the ladies didn't eat The Food. In reality, my security, my significance comes from the Lord. He knows me, he loves me and he gave me the strengths that he wants me to have. I may not be able to (or have the desire to) whip up a fantastic breakfast pastry, but I know that I have other things to offer at my Bible study table. So even though it's The Food, it's really just food. Maybe this realization is why I need to keep going to Bible study!
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